Talk Back: In search of the affordable car

Aug 08, 2023

The bank statement arrived a few days ago, and we’re in big trouble. For despite our thrifty approach to daily living — as outlined in the international best-seller “How to Be a Tightwad Without Even Trying” — on page 156 if you’re looking for pointers — the ending balance contained only goose eggs.

And none of them were golden.

Clearly, major changes are necessary if we’re to maintain the lifestyle to which we are accustomed. Otherwise, our hearty meals of a single bean — each one sliced paper-thin so it will last a month or more — and a drop or two of milk saved only for special occasions like Christmas or New Year’s will become luxuries even we can no longer afford. Not that we have much choice in the matter if we ever again hope to get from Point A to Point B in less than a fortnight. Or without wearing out a hundred years’ worth of shoe leather.

Cars, you see, have priced themselves right out of existence.

We’re not just talking about the 17-foot Rolls Royce La Rose Noire Droptail two-seater with a 1,600-piece Black Sycamore wood veneer interior finish for which some guy in Pebble Beach just shelled out a cool $30 mill. Because today, even li’l ol’ rinky-dink foot-powered Flintstone-like subcompacts made out of Play Dough that you can only steer by leaning left or right will set you back at least 20 grand.

No wonder only 5,300 have sold this year.

But on the off-chance you’re interested in the aptly named Mirage, you’d better snap one up pronto. With interest in them so low, its fate has been sealed and production’s been canceled faster than “NCIS Los Angeles.” And when the last one rolls off the assembly line, the auto industry insiders say the days of owning affordable transportation will be over. As usual, these so-called experts are about as clueless as the combined field of presidential wannabees.

Even Great Start dropouts know the words “affordable,” “car” and “$20,000” don’t belong in the same sentence.

Lest you think we have taken complete leave of our senses, we’re well aware that the only place where you can still find milk for 2 cents a gallon and bread for a nickel a loaf is on display with all the other Mesozoic Era relics at the local Museum of Natural History. Right next to that primo set of wheels you used to snag for three grand or less. But go figure. Despite the average new car today priced at roughly $48,000 — including monthly payments of $725 or more and insurance premiums that aren’t far behind — folks everywhere are shunning anything more modestly priced — an oxymoron if there ever was one — and gravitating instead for top-of-the-line pickups and SUVs, even though there are only two groups of people with enough green stamps to pay for them.

Millionaires and those who have re-mortgaged the house for the 14th time.

Therein lies the reason why car prices are outta sight. While some 236,000 Michiganders have a net worth of seven figures or more, even they have their breaking point. Between the median price of homes today being somewhere north of $400,000 and the insatiable desire to experience the lifestyles of the rich and famous, something’s gotta give. Since transportation’s essential — and the fancy mansion not so much — there’s only one thing to do.

Combine the two.

And since the public demands everything today be loaded with bells and whistles, there’s no longer room for $20,000 cars. Not when everyone wants to live in a Lamborghini.

Down by the river.

Vans, you see, are so passé.

Talk Back with Doug Spade and Mike Clement is heard every Saturday morning from 9 a.m. to noon Eastern Time at Facebook Live andwww.dougspade.com.